The Life I have Lived

I clocked 44 on the sixth day of July according to the Gregorian calendar. I am not a big fan of birthdays nor do I give too much attention to the number I am on the life ladder. However, sometimes, I do look up checking the grip I have on this ladder.

For me, life has been a mixture of experiences. Poverty had been a staple, but the joy and laughter of my childhood gave no rise to sadness.

The constant worries that come with poverty made me decide as a young girl never to be poor. I wanted something different from what I grew up in. I had a plan to work to perfect my life no matter what it took.

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Life as my little girl sees it.

“We only live once”, this was what my little girl said as I turned to the road leading to her school. I concentrated on the road ahead in time to recover from the shock of her utterance. As I dropped her off at school that day and kissed her goodbye, I thought of what she said before rushing off to begin my daily monotonous routines.

I have heard this short phrase many times, I sometimes used it when talking to people, but, I never pondered on it until my 11 years old explained its meaning.

Sometimes, I express myself openly and some other times, I crawl backwards. I, however, found myself sinking into myself and shunning the world around me as my commitments and responsibilities expand. With the vigorous effects of life’s ups and downs, I have locked myself in unending spiralling vicious circles.

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